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Saturday, May 18, 2019

Me and Music Essay

As the earph champions filled my ears with wonder I could feel cryptograph more than the ecstasy I was in. It was as if nothing else in the being mattered. At that time I could feel nothing more than the shadows that covered my heart, but the practice of medicine I comprehend inspired me in such a way that no one else could understand the way I felt. I was beautiful, the world was beautiful, and nothing else could possibly be as beautiful as the way I feel. When I stop the music, I became quiet, the world became quiet, and everything simply stopped. This is the only time I can say that I real heard music.I used to be very social, very active, like a fish in the gigantic ocean. I used to have lots of friends, and a girlfriend who I was deeply in love with. That love story last for a year. We broke up after a year, when I still loved her so much. I became a silent boy and cut all the connections with friends as same as outside world. It was a hurricane came and almost drowned me and in this violent raging storm and I lost my way. I clung to music as if it was a raft for life, as if it was a key for me to muddle it up living in this world. Somehow it worked. Not just worked, but worked well.After a extensive summer I came back to school.It was my first day at school and I all I can remember was the first moment I put on my headphones and pressed play on my blue Sony Walkman, which later became my joy. The album playing was Crush by Bon Jovi and each song became instantly work into my memory. It felt like it was a whole new world and I finally opened my eyeball and just stepped into this fantasy world and everything else around me lost its importance.It was a feeling that just took everything that was wrong, messed up, confusing and awful inside of me and transformed it into more or lessthing that I knew for the first time was right. The wo(e) was still there but I found a way to just keep in check so that no one else would have to ask me these dread ful questions that brought me so much pain every time I heard Are you OK? and Do you want to talk?.I knew that there was something wrong when opposite(a) throng think about me as a quiet guy who doesnt have any friends and listens to music all the time. To be honest, I have friends, but just about 2, or 3. I didnt feel like making new friends at school and I prefer to find some form of happiness from music no matter how little it was. Music came to me not only as a form of relief, but its a way for me to express something, maybe not to other people, but to myself. It showed me that I still have personal feelings, and that I was even remotely normal.Back to school, me exclusively and music, I felt its ok its going to be ok, at first. But just by the end of the day, when I got home, alone, thinking about other people at school, enjoy with their friends, I complete that music wasnt going to be able to be my life raft so I clung to something, what some consider dark and fed off this darkness. I take up friends in my life. I need friends to cheer up my gloomy life. I just want to be like them, like other people who got friends. As the days, weeks and months went on that I talked and gained new friends, I found that my life boat was nice less and less needed as people were finally starting to accept me for me. The darkness and pain are still there, locked up deep inside where no one can hear there violent screams but now I know that I have more than just my music and lifeboat because when another storm comes, I have others who can help me survive.

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